Energy crisis SOLVED with totally hot new policy!

Prompt: Presidential Election 2008
Music: My Materials Science professor discussing binary eutectic phase diagrams
And etc: oh callou callay? (3)

I don’t know if you’ve been following the news as closely as I have, but it’s election day is on the horizon so if you didn’t know that Paris Hilton is running for president, you really should pay attention.

Here’s the quick backstory: John McCain created a campaign advertisement that compared Barack Obama to celebrities, such as Paris Hilton, and criticized his energy plan. So Paris puts on a leopard-print swimsuit and some flashy high heels, thanks the “white-haired guy” (McCain) for promoting her as a presidential candidate, and created a hybrid of the McCain and Obama energy plans that actually… might work.

Barack wants to focus on new technologies to cut foreign-oil dependency, and McCain wants offshore drilling. Well, why don’t we do a hybrid of both candidates’ ideas? We can do limited offshore drilling with strict environmental oversight, while creating tax incentives to get Detroit making hybrid and electric cars. That way the offshore drilling carries us until the new technologies kick in, which will then create new jobs and energy independence. Energy crisis solved!!

Sure, the idea has some flaws that need to be ironed out, such as where the hell we’re going to get the money for offshore drilling and tax incentives (oh right, more taxes – my apologies for the cynicism), but it is a really interesting way to combine the ideas of both candidates. We’re already working on new technologies, such as hybrid/fuel-efficient cars and alternative fuel, but it still not cheap enough for everyone. Nobody wants to depend on foreign fuel, so offshore drilling with environmental oversight makes a lot of sense. I don’t really know enough about this topic or the current presidential debate to go too into detail about anything, but that’s just my quick opinion. And I mean hey, Paris gets a lot of airtime, especially with her new hit(?) reality show, “Paris is my new BFF” which my roommate and I get a riot out of whenever it’s on, so she obviously must be popular enough to hold her own in a presidential election! I support this idea, so I’m voting for her because this message is “totally hot.”

So actually, I should probably vote for the creators of funnyordie.com, who actually wrote the script. Hmm… Will Ferrell and Adam McKay leading the country? Well, we’d definitely be in for some HILARIOUS broadcasts! And who knows, I might actually start paying attention to politics!

Teeheehee >:3